Why Domination Is Not Strength
When restraint disappears, power ceases to be leadership.
Part six of a six-part series on power, authority, and leadership stewardship.
When you look at the headlines today, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed by the sheer volume of reprehensible acts. Some people call it “the new normal.” Others dismiss it as just another “political disagreement.”
They’re both wrong.
What we are witnessing isn’t a difference of opinion; it’s a leadership deficit. It’s a systemic failure of standards that sickens anyone who truly understands what it means to lead. If you want to know the difference between a leader and a tyrant, you don’t look at their title; you look at their restraint.
The Standards of Real Leadership
Leadership is not the unchecked exercise of power. It is the disciplined stewardship of it. To move from authority to actual leadership, you must meet three non-negotiable standards:
- Restraint when force is available. Anyone can swing a hammer. Real strength is the discipline to choose the “harder right” over the “easier wrong,” especially when you have the power to crush opposition. Restraint is proof of character, not weakness.
- Accountability when authority is present. Authority without accountability is just bullying. Accountability is the bridge between the person in charge and the people they serve. Without it, trust erodes, and authority becomes arbitrary and hollow.
- Humility when consequences are irreversible. Leaders often make decisions that cannot be undone. These moments demand wisdom, not ego. Humility is the clarity to recognize that your consequences will outlast your tenure.
The Security Trap
Why do people cheer when power is exercised without these standards? Usually, it’s because they’ve been sold a lie. They are defending domination while pretending it’s security.
It may feel stable in the short term to have a “strongman” who suppresses dissent or ignores the rules. But force without proportionality leads to fragility, not resilience. When you trade leadership standards for raw power, you’re building a house of cards, not a safe institution.
A Moment for Self-Reflection
Leadership isn’t just a topic for politicians and CEOs. It’s a standard you hold in your own life, in your business, your family, and your community. Take a moment to look in the mirror:
- Do you use your influence to solve problems or to silence them?
- Where in your life are you exercising power without being willing to be held accountable?
- Are you confusing “being in control” with “being a leader”?
- When you make a mistake that affects others, do you lead with humility or lead with excuses?
The Path Forward: Owning the Standard
If you’re disillusioned with the state of leadership today, the answer isn’t to disengage. The answer is to elevate the standard in your own sphere of influence. We don’t need more ill-trained people with “authority”; we need more stewards who understand that their power is a tool for service, not a weapon for ego.
Leadership failure at scale always precedes damage to our institutions and our shared reality. The only way to reverse that trend is to demand more of ourselves and those we follow.
Your Next Step: Think of one person you lead or influence. This week, intentionally seek their feedback on a decision you made. Practice the humility of being questioned and the accountability of explaining your “why.”
Series Conclusion
Domination always masquerades as strength, until restraint is required. Then the deficit is exposed.
This series was not intended to persuade the outraged or to comfort the indifferent. Its purpose is to reaffirm the standards that leadership must uphold to stay legitimate.
Authority without restraint collapses.
Power without accountability corrupts.
Influence without humility degrades into control.
The work of leadership does not end with critique. It begins with stewardship of power, of people, and of the standards we refuse to abandon.
Originally published as a Dispatch at KarlBimshasConsulting.com.
Next: Reread the entire series, starting with Silence Is Not Leadership
